AJC10 Week 21 Catch-up - It's going to be OK

This page is the "twin" to "New Heights" although I altered the folder tag which originally said "My secret place".

Credits:

Cream paper, Girl on Wall with Bird and folder tag - Crafthouse Press, Santoro's Gorjuss 3-D Die-cut Decoupage

Black flock paper (from 8" x 8" sheet) - GCD Studio, Nina Higgins's Paris Nights 48 Sheet Collection Pack
Pink paper - Papermania, Mini Journal papers
Black pen - Sakura

AJC10 Week 10 - To be free at Last - Scrap-inspired by Fran Horne

(Forgive the quality of the photo - the piece is red, white and black).

Last Saturday, I took the decision to go to Malvern, a place where I used to live when I was first married. My first marriage was short but was mentally abusive and whilst I love Malvern, there's still a small part of me that fears going there. Anyway, despite feeling nervous, I survived, and found that an art exhibition was on in one of the shops. The artist (Fran Horne) is a book artist and the exhibition was inspiring, as the artist's style could easily be adapted for art journalling. Her website shows some of the work that was on exhibition http://www.franhorne.co.uk/ and my page above is inspired by her work. The page is from "The Self-Esteem Companion" by McKay, Fanning, Honeychurch and Sutker, a book that I accidently ordered twice, but rather than send it back, I thought I would alter one copy and then I saw the Fran Horne Exhibition and it felt serendipendous to do that to a page. The page on "Freeing Your Body" appeared to be relevant for this week

Pens - Kuretake

AJC10 Week 8 - You raise me up

This week's theme is to explore the idea of music and art journaling. "What music really inspires you?" Well, this song and its lyrics spring to my mind, particularly when sung a cappella by my favourite singer, the Irish singer-songwriter Brian Kennedy. There are times when he sings that song in concert when I can hear (not just feel, because the audience are so quiet) the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. It is very special - if you want an idea of how special, there is a version on youtube of his performance a few years ago at the Burnavon Arts Centre in Cookstown, Co Tyrone, Ireland. The song has been covered by many different singers, but the words are extremely strong and uplifting - Brian calls it "a hug in a cd". I left my sketch in pencil to keep its ethereal feel. The lyrics are from the chorus "You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains; You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas; I am strong when I am on your shoulders. You raise me up: To more than I can be". Brian was the original singer of the song on the composer's album - Secret Garden's "Once in a Red Moon".

Credits:

Backing paper - Lorie Davison, Flitting Fall Faeries, Light paper pack

Lettering from my stashs

My sketch is on watercolour paper

AJC10 Weeks 7 and 8 - Open to learning More

On Monday I got my Open University Degree certificate through the post and wanted to include this event in my journal, as the qualification was hard fought for, as my depression meant that I had concentration problems throughout my studies. So this is a photocopy that I doodled on as it wasn't as colourful as I would have liked. I used watercolour pencils to colour the journalling, which says "Last year I finished [an] art history course and that conferred enough study points to earn a degree. The ceremony is in June this year :)" I nearly give up at the beginning of last year as I was finding the studying difficult and seemingly still had a long way to go. But I sat down and worked that with my previous professional studies (I'm a part qualified accountant - hated it) I could get some extra studies points, so only needed to do one final course to get an BA Open degree, rather than study for at least another 2 years to get a BA Humanities. I re-framed my view and am now a BA Open (Open) :). I'm trying to lose some weight ready for my degree ceremony photos.

Credits:
Photocopy of part of my degree certificate
Pencils - Derwent Inktense watercolour pencils
Black pen - Kuretake

AJC10 Week 7 and 8 - Snow Angel

At the weekend we had snow and my son and I had a snowball fight. He then did snow angels in the front garden. The Journalling says: " Even with his arms folded you can still see his wings :) (Shining through :) ) showing that despite what happens your true form is still visible shining through." I used a doodling template for the black ribbon line and the squares are inchies I was going to experiment with but adding them as a fringe added needed colour to the piece. I outlined the wing shapes and added dots with an ordinary pencil.

Credits:
Black alphabet - Making Memories
Inchies - made using a Dovecraft punch from paper scraps from my stash - details not known now
Cream paper - K & Co - from my stash

AJC10: Week 5 - Bloom where you Grow

The Blog of the Week for this week's Art Journal journey is Cori Dantini's and her art inspired the above picture. I haven't draw anything for a long time so getting pencil and watercolour paper out was daunting but that why they make pencil rubbers :). I pencilled out the idea and then used my black pen to go round everything using the thicker end to frame the drawing. I used watercolour pens and wetted the drawn hair, adding some pink lines from a sharpie to darken some highlights.

Credits:

Pink background paper and lime green paper used for frame - Studio Mgl scraps, Dreams in Colour 2.0 papers

Watercolour paper, A5 acid-free Sketch Pad, bought from local supermarket

Watercolour pencils - Derwent Inktense pencils

Black pen - Kuretake

Pink and Aqua Sharpie markers

Grey flock sticker - My Mind's Eye, Self adhesive Bloom and Grow Felt Border

AJC10: On Bad days my thinking's rather Black and white, but I dream in colour

This idea came to me as soon as this week's task of playing with colour was announced - I have a filofax in which I put my weekend ideas down for the journal until I can work on the layouts during the week. As it happens, Monday was a bad day - I burnt myself by spilling tea over me and then I was told as a bombshell that I might not have professional help with sorting out my binge eating issues, and so I cried most of the day. My burn has now blistered and I had a headache all yesterday, but today's a different day.




The black and white page was actually difficult to make yesterday as it hurt my headache, but it's how I feel when I'm having a bad day - it's all or nothing, yes/no, success or failure. Black and white, no grey to the options, but this is not me all the time and as I say "I dream in colour".


Credits:
Black and white papers - Tangie Baxter, Chronicles of Imagination, Chapter 11 papers

Colourful side:
Pink background paper - Tangie Baxter, Chronicles of Imagination, Chapter 5 papers
Turquoise bracket page and corrugated bracket frame - Studio Flergs and mgl Scraps, What Dreams May Come Bracket Album
Bed and Window frame - Lorie Davison, Flying Dream Storybook, Magic Bedroom set
Moon and Cloud, Stardrops and Sparkle border - Tangie Baxter, Chronicles of Imagination, Chapter 3 elements
Rainbow - Tangie Baxter, Chronicles of Imagination, Chapter 13 elements
Star puffy stickers - Craft Creatives

AJC10 Week 4 - Playing with colour - Don't be Messy

This week's theme is: "Letting Loose with Color" with the instruction "LET GO! LET LOOSE! BE FREE!". So you're thinking what's the above to do with that? It's part of a multipage thought but also an exploration of being messy (including paint splats in the layout, which I've not really done before), although as I said in the journal the irony is that as a digital page, no physical mess is involved. The red tag caption says: Some rules were made to be broken.

Credits:

Background paper: Baer Garten Designs, Whites paper
Central paint panel: Tangie Baxter, Splattergraffiti Red Border
Red tag and black string elements: Studio mgl, Dreams in Colour 2.0 elements
Red and black splodges: Elizabeth Weaver @ DSP, Black, White & Red All Over kit
Black pen for journalling - Kuretake

AJC10 Double layout - my relationship with my dad (Warning: May trigger)

I don't speak to my Dad and at the moment, that helps me for the relationship had a negative effect on my health, mental and emotional. He was never really there for me and history is repeating itself in that he has only see his grandson a handful of times in his 12 years of life: the last time he saw us, our son was 5-6. I stopped phoning him as I get fed up with telling little white lies to my son to hid my father's emotional inadequacies, rather than say to him that Grandad didn't want to see us. It was a difficult decision, but at least my son and I know where we stand. I research my family history, so not speaking is ironic, but I feel that Dad's idea is that families are things you grow out of, whilst for me, it's something you grow into. We aren't really part of his circle of life...

The typed journalling says: "I've not spoken to my father for 4-5 years. I wasn't a daddy's girl: he wasn't that sort of father. from 4, he told me I was "too big to cuddle". He walked out when I was a young adult & I had to hold the family together. I had hoped that he would be more involved when hubby & I had our son in 1997 but our son was 3 months old before my Dad saw him and last time he saw my son, he was about 6. Sunday evening was always Dad's day to ring & on those days I would have anxiety attacks at the prospect of talking to him, as the calls were superficial and I felt I had to tread on eggshells not to let my disappointment at having only half a relationship on his terms. When we spoke he would keep making excuses why we couldn't see him and I got fed up of trying to put a positive spin on Dad's refusals for my son. We Haven't spoken for so long as it's not his turn to phone & he won't phone me otherwise. Since then, I've felt much better - I don't feel sick on Sundays. I don't plan the silence to be permanent but I need to build myself up to cope with the disappointment of half a relationship (not the relationship I would like) before I can open up that door again."

Credits for both pages:

Light green floral paper - Laura Ashley Scrapbooking Paper Pack, Connemara
Brown and black paper - 7 Gypsies, Morocco Journey Paper - "Sultan"
Squared cream paper - Tangie Baxter, Darkroom, DeCrow papers
Label with ribbon and buckle - freebie from a craft magazine
Square page Pebble - Making Memories, adhesive medium blank square
"dad" (the first "d" actually is a "p" underside down) - Making Memories, Alison Rose woven alpha
"You me" and sequinned stickers - Partners Craft Embellishments
Floral flourishes - Laura Ashley Scrapbooking elements, Connemara

My Life as a Quilt - scrapbooked AJC10 Week 3

This creative piece came to me this morning as I was sitting in bed. The quilt is imaginary but a good metaphor for my ability to remember everything and to add to it, embellishing the bad things so that they stood out. But now I'm letting go and forgeting some of the negatives, mending the memories and re-framing them with new more positive things.

Credits:

Background paper - Berna Datema, Best of Friends - Papers contact sheet

Ribbons - Miss Vivi, The Essentials - Ribbons

Journal Book element - Tangie Baxter, Art Journal Caravan, Steamer Trunk elements

"Mend" - Tangie Baxter, Art Journal Caravan Week 3 parcel

Black Journalling Pen - Kuretake

Wording:

My Life as a Quilt

For years I had a negative "quilt"

A Remembrance quilt of kind

And each year I'd add a square

Mentally in my mind.

Each hateful word said of me

Each failure or deed unkind

Was lovingly added and

Embellished on, in my mind.

But this year my "quilt" will be positive

Unpicking the critic so unkind:

No "stupid"s or "useless" here

Just words both true and kind.

Each old square will be dismantled

Forgotten, forgiven, unloved

No longer used as weapons

To twist my thoughts. Enough!

I'll take away the inner critic

Stop listening to his words

For critics aren't paid to be nice

It's meanness that's their worth.

My journey may be long to mend

To unwrite the past so wrong

But I've got fellow travellers

And together we'll raise a happier song.

AJC10 Week 2 - Choose what to accept

One of my problems in the past was accepting anything good about me, as I was told how useless or stupid I was by others, which my inner critic then repeated to me after the original speakers moved out of my life. When I do hear my inner critic now, I aim to challenge it and stop accepting that it's right. The thought bubbles are things that I should accept instead. The birdie is there to tie in with the weekly calendar task.

Credits:

Bird - Tangie Baxter, Art Journal Caravan week 2 parcel elements
Background paper - Tangie Baxter, Journal Anthology Papers
"Accept this" - Dyno Junior dynotape

Silhouette - adapted to look like me from Wikipedia entry about Silhouette

My own thought bubbles

AJC10 Week 2 - my week in journalling

The theme this week are to produce a stylised "Weekly Based Journal Calendars" influenced by the artist Geninne. The instructions were to "Think outside the box, how can you implement an "idea" from her and make it your own" and the Verb of the Week is "Accept". Geninne's journals involve a lot of drawings, particularly of birds, and dividing the page up with black marker pen lines.

This is my work-in-progress for this week. The idea of doing a calendar did scare me as I didn't feel that I currently do enough to fill a diary, although my thoughts can fill my day without anything else going on. So this is why it says "Sometimes my life feels very small... but my journey has only just begun"; a journey of letting go and of discovery, to learn who I am. The layout is also my first try at including some digital elements, other than just photoshop fonts, on the background paper - the flags at the top and a splat in the middle of the page.

Credits:

Background paper, bird, journal labels, paint splatter, flag set - Tangie Baxter, Art Journal Caravan week 2 parcel elements

Word Card altered - Tangie Baxter, Art Journal Caravan week 1 parcel elements

Air Balloon, Around the World sticker - Tangie Baxter, Art Journal Caravan, Steamer trunk elements

Follow your Heart - Tangie Baxter, Journal Anthology elements

Calendar day squares - from a 2009 freebie calendar I got from a magazine

And finally for AJC10 week 1 - I'm packing light

This as an idea was a very quick one to produce, as I already had the check list tag and the wording just came to me. The journal will be a very personal thing for me, as this year will be a journey of discovering me. I will blog all the pages that I do but may not upload all the photos to the project's gallery as I do have quite a bit of baggage I already carry. I'm a binge eater and part of the idea in joining the project was to give me something to distract me when my son returns to school after his winter break. I tend to eat to fill the loneliness. Instead I hope to journal and it also allows me to use up all the different crafty things that I have bought that make up an overflowing stash. This is pushing boundaries as my past messages always were that I would mess things up, that the beauty of the thing would be lost. I used to photocopy things, rather than use originals of embellishments as I felt that I wasn't worth the best. Luckily I don't think that way quite so much now :). The printed text on the background was produced using Photoshop - although I had to write the ' manually afterwards.

Credits:

Background paper - Tangie Baxter, Art Journal Caravan, Steamer Trunk papers

"Vacation Checklist", part of Travel Dipsticks tag set - We R Memory Keepers

Trunk - Tangie Baxter, Art Journal Caravan, Steamer Trunk elements

Roll on week 2 :)

AJC10: All the colours of the Rainbow...

This page came from a variation on the idea of using all the paints in the box. The background paper just begged to be used for this ideas, and was the contrast I wanted with the previous page ("Don't"). I couldn't fit "Freedom" across the page, but the L shape seems to work well. The circular piece of paper which I used to record my thought today has different colour threads running through it, but these don't show up with my photographic skills. The white writing was produced using Photoshop.

Credits:
Background paper - Tangie Baxter, Art Journal Caravan, Steamer Trunk Papers
"Freedom" metal tiles - Making Memories (I think), from stash
White paper - offcut from stash
"To Choose" - Dyno Junior dynotape

AJC10: Start of the Journey - January, only way is up

Today I've managed to catch up with ideas, so I've been able to put several pages together, and get my computer working to upload the photos I had taken onto the gallery for the Art Journal Caravan project. I wanted to do a divider for each month and found some chipboard arrows that will fit my scrapbook and its theme. The idea came to me a few days ago - I've just been waiting until I got to that bit of the scrapbook. I took some of the colour out of the original paper download using Photoshop, because I wanted it to be pale to contrast with later pages. As a child I found it difficult to get strong colours mixes for my Art lessons at school so favouring watercolours. The use of the lighter palette is reflect the prospect of breaking free from the past, hence the crossing out of bound, here being seen as bound with shackles.

Credits:

Background paper - Tangie Baxter, Journal Anthology papers no. 11.

Arrow tag, part of a six pack of Keychain Coasters to which I added 2 further punch holes - Maya Road

"January" Metal embellishment - Making Memories (I think)

"Ticket to Travel", part of Travel Dipsticks tag set - We R Memory Keepers

Ribbon - freebie

xx

AJC10: Prologue to the journey - page 1

My first page is actually a prologue to my journey and is a quote from the Alanis Morisette song "Thank U". It's a quote that close to my heart and reminds me that although letting go can be scary its rewards are greater.

Credits:

Background paper - C'est Magnifique, Rhonna Farrer (cut down from a scrapbook page 12x12)

Black glittery Lettering - Making Memories (I think)*

Spidery handwriting - my own with ZIG Memory System Black acid-free Writer pen

Tags - designer/supplier details not known now*

Flower dimensional stickers - Whimisical Flowers, Jolee's boutique*

Hole punch - Crop-a-dile

*Purchased over 12 months ago, may no longer be available